Hot Legs' Phone Book and You'll Never Guess What Else

Hot Legs donated this phone book to the cause a couple days ago.


I think I'm going to have to get the paper cutter out and get some chopped up because my stack looks like this:

That's good though, because I think I've got a couple bins that could stand a second story.

And guess what I learned recently? You'll never guess!

My cat is on FaceBook.

I know, right? How does he have the time?!

I really wish he'd stop mispelling his name. Spooky tells me that the "e" just adds a little joie de vivre (pronounced "joya da meemerrree." I tell him he doesn't even know what the hell that means! And then Spook gets all pouty. Oh, Lordy, this cat!

One thing is for sure, it's time Spook begins toilet training.

Phone Book Phenomenon

Once upon a time, but really just a couple days ago, I received a new phone book, the Orange Central Coast Yellowpages.

"But WormWranger PoopHarvester, there are three phone books in the image," you say. I find that baffling too because I stole only one. The third? It's a phone book phenomenon.

But each one came in a yellow bag that looked like this:

If you look carefully, you can see that it says,

"Please recycle your outdated phone books. Recycling information can be found at http://corporate.yellowbook.com/recycling/"

and that is pretty handy for folks who don't have worms or neighbor friends with worms.

A couple days before that, I had received another phone book. The Verizon Superpages.

"But WormWrangler PoopHarvester," you say, "there are two phone books in that image."

Of course there is, I stole that second phone book from my immediate neighbor.

What makes me scratch my head though is how I wound up with three of these phone books (with an ad for a DIVORCE lawyer emblazoned across the spine -- how uplifting). They're those on the bottom of the stack:

The other two were gifted to me by Lori, the neighbor in the next building. I don't steal from her. But I do have her boyfriend's cat. The third phone book? Another phone book phenomenon.

So these three phone books, the superpages, came in bags that say:

"To order directories or to stop delivery of this directory call 1-800-888-8448."

That's cool for folks who have the internet phone book and don't have worms or friends with worms yet.

Two months before this surge of phone books, I found a book of white pages in an orange bag outside when I was walking my neighbor's boyfriend's former cat, not in front of my door like those books above, but just inside the community gate, near my slider. Had I not been the Worm Wrangler, I would've ignored it.

But I picked it up.

And look at what was under the bag:

Go ahead and click the picture to check. It's a real $20!

I could've rushed out and bought

• 20 songs on iTunes (I didn't because I don't have a portable music playing device and use Pandora -- thanks Chuck!), or
• 6.5 gallons of gasoline (of course I bought gas but it was already in the budget), or
• the majority of The Les Halles Cookbook (I didn't because Amazon is unrelenting about selling entire books), or
• a box of golf balls (haven't lost all of the ones from my last box yet)

Instead that 20 sat on my desk here for quite some time. I think that was the Worm Wrangler above, making arrangements for me to score that balance.

The moral of the story? Start a worm bin of your own because then you'll tend to pick up phone books and there might be a $20 phenomenon underneath it.

And now I have a total of 12 phone books. Figure that out.

Really, the book was probably placed on top of the strategically located $20 for the resident drug dealer. But my phone book story is way cooler than that.