Let's See...

I need to get me a short hairdo, some fine cat-eye frames, and a sweater-with-pleated-plaid skirt outfit!

Photo Source: Whorange

Happy Halloween!

Happy Angry Birds Halloween!

Shveta's first ever pumpkin carving on the right; my first in, well, let's just say many years, forgetting a word like decade and any pluralization of said word, there on the left.

These birds were my team's theme for the mandatory pumpkin carving at work. (I know, you so want a job there)! My team, We Suck on the Teat of Victory, typically ranking as The Winners in any contest, shockingly, was not successful for this Halloween round. That Femgineers group, somehow, surpassed us.

I think the kids judging were biased or hopped up on that sugar drug. There's no way they were rational.

Next year...Femgineers are going down! I might adopt a bunch of kids to get votes, but we will win!

Spooky Tearin' Shit Up

I never, ever, not even for a second, thought I'd buy cardboard for the sake of buying cardboard. Spooky is fully-clawed as nature intended and thus his tendency is to loosen-the-dead-and-sharpen-the-new claws in each of his paws regularly on the leather chairs. This behavior has, in turn, caused me to grow as The (pussy-whipped) Cat Master.

What the hell, it was buy one get one free. What's dumb though is the leather on said chairs is essentially cooked already. Wood is clearly visible in a few spots. They look really shabby. Spook's lucky he's so cute and has personality and facial expressions I adore. Otherwise I'd pack his bags and take him to the bus station with a ticket to Toledo.

I'm kidding! Spooky doesn't know anyone in Toledo! What do you think I am, a monster? I'd get the ticket for Grand Rapids, where Spook would learn a trade, like welding from the vantage point of Dad's shoulder. That Spooky's black would help conceal the oil-residue his fur coat would accumulate in the first 1.3 minutes in Dad's garage.

Each cardboard box of cardboard honeycomb had a little packet of dried catnip beneath the honeycomb. I opened the first box, removed the honeycomb and catnip packet, sprinkled the catnip on the bottom of the box, returned the honeycomb to the box, and put the box of catnipped-honeycomb on Spook's chair.*

At first, Spooky just pulled at the honeycomb and sniffed it all over, becoming slightly aggressive about it, rubbing his cheeks against it, standing on it, sniffing it some more, rubbing against it further, occasionally drawing his claws.

Look at those little claws, extended just slightly. I think that's about the same pressure he applies to my face in the morning when he desires feeding. So sweet.

And then he became stock-still, pupils completely dilated, ready to kill. Suddenly Spooky freaked OUT on the cardboard, scratching it, rubbing it, and pawing at it, flipping it over onto the floor.

I wish I'd caught that and the rest on video. Spooky gave that box hell. It was all teeth and nails for a furious four minutes. That box nearly made it's escape via the bathroom (window?) but the Great Black Hunter seized it and worked it over vigorously before it got any further. I managed to capture the moment immediately after the kill.

Now that it's dead, Spook has no further interest. $15 in cardboard was entertaining for about 8 minutes. That about $2 a minute, right? For CARDBOARD.


*Yes, one of the leather chairs is his and the other is mine. His is laid out with cush sheets (3 million count, Egyptian, if I remember right). Spook doesn't understand personal space and I need the separation during my conscious hours. His tendency is to spread out all over me at night when I am asleep or trying to get to that dreamspot; that's too much closeness already. If I didn't know he thinks he's a dog, I'd think Spook requires co-dependency therapy.

Apparently, Spooky's Hungry

Twice a day, I feed Spooky by putting food in his bowl, I swear. He even gets fresh water each time.

I think Spooky thinks he's hunting when I bring home a new bag.

That or he's telling me the last bag went stale. Hmm...

Oh crap.

REI Member Coupon

Can you guess what I'm gonna buy this weekend?

Here's a hint:


Here's another hint: it's not camping gear.

Cat and Walker Resting

Source: acidcow.com

Orange County Register

Because I'm a sucker for helping high school students in Santa Ana, I agreed to an 8-week subscription to the OC Register, four dailies from Thursday to Sunday each week. Two weeks in, I have 8 newspapers I haven't even removed from their stupid orange bags except the first Sunday copy, the one with the coupons.

Is there one single coupon I'd use in there? Of course not because I'm the turd who doesn't buy into brand labels.

While I'm all about supporting youth and their high school education so they can do their thing and get the basics of education, I'm not sure that my $20 subscription really does anything but provide me with worm food and a huge pile of glossies I feel obligated to haul to the recycling center.

Maybe the kid I am sponsoring with my 20 will devise a way of really making my contribution work. This "let's sell newspaper subscriptions" thing is seriously antiquated.

Last Night on Netflix

I'm one of those people who have difficulty getting to sleep. I'm not sure why since I enjoy sleeping. You hear about people who think it's a "waste of time" and they don't "bother" with all of that "excess sleeping" bullshit. I think they are crazy. And old who miss their youth. Young people like sleeping and don't look down on other people who enjoy that daily slice of heaven.

Again, I don't understand why I have a hard time getting to sleep. It's insane. Considering how I feel about sleep, you'd think I'd be narcoleptic.

Mid-late '90's I'd plug in a VHS (rented from Blockbuster since you could rent a non-new-rental for $0.99/week) since by the time I came home from work regular TV was simply a high-pitched screen with the stupid lateral rainbow; turn the volume way down, set the sleep timer on the TV for 60 minutes and after straining to hear what was going on for 30 minutes, would finally pass out into blissfully comforting dreams.

Now, most nights I look for something of minor interest to fall asleep to on the iPad. I find a show/movie/whatever of some interest, push play, and turn the volume down to something just barely audible.

After straining to hear for 5 minutes I'm asleep within the next 0:04 minutes. Of course, I might toss and turn anyway for a couple hours only to realize how long I've been awake when the barely audible sound is suddenly non-existent. The neat thing about Netflix is that it remembers what I watched last so I can queue that last thing up from my "recently watched" list and fast forward to watch the next 5:04 minutes. Of course, my VHS player used to rewind at the end of the tape automatically, but that would mean I'd have to FF 5 minutes worth of tape. Or 30. Or 70, depending on the day.

Last night, I found that the A&E show "Hoarders" was available for streaming. I watched two episodes back-to-back with the volume at low. I strained to hear and could not stop watching. Finally I forced myself to turn that window to the universe off before pushing "play next episode" the third time.

I'm on my way to bed in a few minutes. I'm going to watch episode 3 of the first season. And possibly 4 of the first season. I hope I can turn it off before watching the 5th.

I'm sick.

Things Are Alright

Spooky's display illustrates our relaxed state.

Spooky has Fleas

How can I tell?

Spooky does this quite suddenly, absolutely abruptly.

That's Spook CHAWING on his own leg. It's no leisurely licking with a couple chews here and there. And there's no easing into it. It's full-blown determined chawing. And Spooky does it even though Kitty is immediately outside the slider, the bell around her neck just-a-janglin'. (Did that remind anyone else of that one country song that played on the radio late '70's-early 80's about Charlotte being on the front porch just-a-swingin'? No? Okay.)

How else can I tell Spook has fleas? I have flea bites. Namely four on my right side where Spook slept on me Thursday night. Those of you who've watched me scratching as though I hadn't bathed in 4 days, sorry.

What does this mean? It means I vacuum twice a day every (or every other) day like the president is coming.* And I do laundry, as in wash everything including all of the towels, all of the bedding (mine and Spook's), and all of our clothing (fortunately Spook's wardrobe is limited to his harness and leash). That means I spend about 2.5 hours at the laundro-mat and spend about $50 on LAUNDRY.

And worse is that I have to pin Spook down to squirt him with this tube of Advantage II.

Depending on where you get it and what size box you get (number of doses) and what sale you find, you can expect to spend about $10-15 bucks a squirt.

Last month I didn't pin Spook down well enough and the majority of the 798 µL went squirting across his back. And certainly, after tearing around the apartment for 30 minutes straight, Spooky licked almost all of it off then consumed water as if he'd eaten a salt-lick and was still acting like Cujo an entire day later.

But even worse than all that? Spooky knows what the little tube looks like and what it means for him. So I need to trick him with treats and/or walks just so I can grab him, pin him down in a full nelson and essentially simultaneously squirt him. The poor Dook. By the time I get him, he'll not trust me for 3 weeks and then a week later I'll have to do it all over again. Fortunately, when I do it next month, it'll be to keep fleas away instead of working on killing the ones WE have.

Wish me luck. I'm going in.

*Kimberly used this term recently and I find it's perfectly fitting here.

How Big are the Snakes?

Sometimes people ask me how big the snakes are. Lengths, I usually guess a couple feet for Sleepy and maybe 3 for Gordo. It's kinda hard to tell since they are so bendy and have an annoying tendency to never lay straight. As for the diameter of each, I incorporate a visual aid of my fingers making a circle. Gordo gets a skinnier finger-circle than Sleepy. I realize that helps you, the reader, none-at-all, but my visual aid probably isn't accurate anyway.

To me, they're a size that is easily manageable. What I mean by that is that if there was a throw-down between me and either, or even both, of the snakes you can trust that I will win.

Last Saturday, after I fed the snakes and returned them to their home, Gordo and Sleepy walked (ok, slithered) around and checked out what was new in their digs: the temperature of the water and if plenty of it was available, if I'd cleaned out all of the poop etc. You know, normal snake stuff.

Then Gordo started rooting. Gordo will scrape his face against anything to loosen his skin, thus the assortment of rocks and wood in the snake home.

The white arrow in the image above points to where Gordo's head is under the bedding.

Sure enough, Sunday I found Gordo'd left his old skin behind. While not a perfect shed, it was completely intact as in it was one whole piece, including the head.

So I whipped out my handy-dandy tape measure, and without having stretched the skin to full length and getting all anal about it*, Gordo's at least 44 inches long right now.

There you have it, Gordo's more than 3.5 feet long.

*Discarded skin is typically scrunched up in some sections and certainly twisted with belly-side up when it should be down. As it's not exactly moisturized, I was afeared that making it as straight as possible would break it, making it a bigger pain in the ass to measure. I'm good with a "greater than" value.

Follow By Email

Here's a test run to try out a new gadget, that thing over there on the right side-bar saying "Follow By Email." If it sucks, I'm going to remove it. If it looks like it might work for anyone who reads this thing, I'll keep it in place.

Testing *ahem try it!*, testing *ahem try it!*, 1, 2, 3...


Update 050511
I signed up with another email address of mine and published the post. I checked my email and nothing. This morning I received an email from Poop in My Kitchen regarding Poop in My Kitchen.

Looking around, I can't find any indication that my alternate email is signed up on this blog. That doesn't really help me as a blogger much, but I guess it works. We'll see when and if I get another email when I publish this post.

Mockingbirds

There is a mockingbird that perches outside of the neighboring house for about 2 months of the year, each and every year. He sings to swoon his beloved; soon she will join him and they'll make sweet music together, if you know what I mean. Hyuck, hyuck!

That's really beautiful, isn't it? Nature happening right outside!

Normally I'd agree. But the jerk doesn't start his song until after midnight and he carries on until morning. Loudly. Tonight is the second night of his concert series and he just started his evening set 30 minutes ago.

Man, I hope it's not too long before a girl bird finds him a hot item. Meanwhile, I need to find some earplugs.

Vibram Jaya versus Vibram Classic

I can't believe it, but my Classics are second string to my Jayas in my Vibram line-up. I honestly thought my second pair of Vibrams would play second-fiddle to my beloved Classics.

Vibram Classics the day I bought them, back in May '10.

The Jayas weigh quite a bit less than the Classics. Weight coupled with the shoe form means the Jayas are much more "barefoot" feeling than the Classics.

Jayas (39) weigh in at 6.3 oz while the Classics (40) weigh in at 10.5 oz.

While many report issues with the spine, or backbone, of the Classics, I never had problems. I never felt the need to tighten the Classics with the single-pull lace, nor have I felt that the single-lace dug into my feet. There is a little pillow of cushion at the top of the Jaya backbone that is quite nice. It's nothing extravagant, but it is there, about 1.5" wide, and just slightly puffed, wrapping around the achilles.

I reported previously that I had difficulty getting my foot into the Jayas, saying that it felt like I had to put my toes in at what felt like a 90° angle. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I was accustomed to putting my toes into the toe pockets of the Classics and then with a quick snap, 90% of the time, popping the Classics over my heel.

Jaya toe insertion is exactly the same as the Classic, but I treated the Jayas like they had a rigid backbone behind the heel. Now that I've gotten over that, I can easily insert my toes and heel into the Jayas by ignoring the imaginary heel backbone, flattening the heel spine completely. A finger used as a shoe-horn is quite-often required with the Jayas and only infrequently necessary with the Classics.

Compared to my Dr. Martens, the Classic sole is exceptionally thin and flexible. The Jaya sole, flexibility-wise, is as different from the Classic as the Classic is to Docs! Sitting side-by-side you can see the Classics are "flat" while the Jayas form a bit of a "U" shape. The Classics tend to keep the flat shape while on my feet and the Jayas are more a "custom" form to my foot(s). Once my feet are in the Jayas, their shape is no longer a "U" as they, well, accomodate my feet.

My Vibram Jayas and Classics

Having worn primarily Jayas the past few weeks, when I put the Classics on I realize that I can feel the built-in arch of the sole and the toe pockets feel rigid.

The Jaya shoe is so flexible that they will bend under pressure of even a vacuum cleaner. When vacuuming, I can use the vacuum to push my Docs and Vibram Classics out of the way. Turns out, when I attempt the same with the Vibram Jayas, my Hoover literally runs over them producing a sound similar to what I get when running over a thick electrical cord, like the one that powers the Hoover. Just sayin'.

Wearing only my Classics outside of work, I had no "feet problems" the past 11 months. Then I started wearing the Jayas. I've been wearing the Jayas outside of work daily since I bought them (and thus, the Classics not very often) and have noticed increasing discomfort when wearing my Doc's.

My feet are now typically achy and absolutely uncomfortable in the Doc's after 3-4 hours. (The soles of my feet, especially, are uncomfortable which suggests that the soles of my Docs are burnt out). The last hours at work are almost excruciating with my dogs barking constantly. I can't wait to get into my truck and pop my shoes and socks off to let my feet be feet instead of flattened stumps. Once that happens, my feet take about 5 minutes to be feet again.

Toes grip the gas, brake and clutch pedals, and actually play a role in what I'm doing instead of being tiny useless appendages that act in unison by force of leg muscles. I used to think that the pinky toe was an appendage worth being surgically removed. While it's worth is still questionable, I see now how that little guy actually does attempt to do something when allowed the opportunity!

I've essentially trained my feet over the last year to be functional, and my toes, particularly over the past couple weeks, to be functional appendages. Shoving those functional feet and digits into foot coffins, aka conventional shoes, is plain misery.

Jayas vs Classics? Jayas win, feet down.

A Funny Thing

One day last month, getting into my truck, I saw this note:

"THANKS SO MUCH
FOR BLOCKING

ME IN SO I

COULDN'T GET TO

WORK THIS MORNING!"

True, I did block him in. In fact, I had parked right behind him two nights in a row. I know the owner of the blocked car has a truck he uses regularly. So I left this note:

"I thought you were

courteously leaving

a space for others to

park behind your 2nd

auto for the 2nd

day in a row."

Notice the lack of apology --

if you don't want people to block you in, don't leave a friggin' car length behind you!

After I left the note on the dude's windshield, I couldn't help notice something in the interior of his car was missing:

Drive much without a steering wheel?

Spooky's Work Week Ritual

During the work week, Spooky awaits my return home.

Once I arrive home, Spook's quite vocal, asking me how my day was, why didn't I bring him any treats (the fact that he asks me this daily tells me he needs a lesson in humility), what are we having for dinner (Salmon Purina One), when is dinner going to be done (in 2 seconds), will I clean his toilet (of course, as soon as deal with his earlier concern), and can we go outside now?

Can we, can we, can we, please, please, please?

Once I put his harness and leash on, Spook waits by the door watching and waiting for my hand to twist the knob. If I don't open the door within seconds of him being harnessed, Spook's frantic with worry.

Spook's a little OCD. I like that about him. Reminds me a little bit of someone I know.

Vibram Jaya's

I'd purchased a pair of Vibram Classics about a year ago. For a while I wore those Classics all day long every single say. I learned that those Vibrams would stink, I mean be downright wrank, after a week of continuous all-day-long wear. Weekly, I'd wash those Vibrams. And while I waited for those Classics to dry, I'd be forced into conventional shoes and my feet would be miserable.

REI, the store I purchased my Vibram Classics from, sent me a coupon for 20% off an item as well as my co-op dividends. Cha-ching! Last weekend I went Vibram shopping. As an FYI, the REI in Santa Ana relocated to Tustin, which, in my opinion sucks.

This pair of Vibram Jaya's were my destiny.


Different from my Classics in length of upper (the Classic uppers are more like a ballet shoe with much less coverage than the Jaya's) and type of sole (the Classics had a uniform sole with some texture, where the Jaya's have distinct sole texture -- the grey parts), the Jaya's fit differently than the classics: I wear a 40 in Classics and 39 in Jaya.
 

It's a little bit more "work" to get into the Jaya's as the uppers require your foot to enter the shoe in one direction but to accomodate your foot naturally, you need to turn your foot/toes at what feels like a 90° angle. I have to say the Jaya's are really effin' comfortable. I was worried that they'd feel more like "shoes" than the Classics since there is more sole texture and upper length, but I think I was being paranoid.

I'll be able to make concrete comparisons on the Vibram Classics vs Vibram Jayas soon.