Monday, May 2, 2011

Chuck Gets Poop

Late March I was invited to Chuck's house for a wine-bottling event scheduled for early April. Not sure if I'd be able to attend, I was all wishy-washy about it. The thing I had to do wound up being postponed so I was suddenly free. While I don't drink wine, it'd be neat to check out a home-bottling.

What do ya bring a guy who has everything including a vineyard and what turned out to be a pretty freakin' sweet kitchen (nevermind the picturesque wife, child and dog)? Am I little jealous? Maybe. It would be awesome to have a sweet kitchen. A wife would be really handy too, especially if as cool as Chuck's Jen. Just sayin'. 

A batch of poop, of course!

I had this batch from The Offspring laying around, destined for Bill. Eh, Bill wouldn't need a whole batch anyway. As a matter of fact, as I'd suspected he would, Bill gave his batch to Tone. And certainly, Tone made it a point to mention that, per Clare's suggestion, he shouldn't lose his place in the queue. I figured that was coming and of course, will comply. I'm not an ogre.

This batch is on the low side as it's fairly dry due to drying out for over a month. Stuff had been sprouting, growing, and dying in this container that whole time, dying because I wasn't watering the poop, intentionally killing limiting growth.

As I cleaned out about 1/4-1/3 of the batch of seedlings, seeds and plastics, I wondered what nifty container I could pick up to gift the poop in. A counter-top compost bin maybe?

Push came to shove and I skipped the cutey-cuteness factor. The poop was pretty clean and the worms I found were put back into The Offspring. I wasn't sure how Jen would feel about a batch of poop, nevermind a batch of poop complete with worms. I rolled with the usual poop delivery container.

And see how pretty Chuck's little batch of pooh looks!

Yeah, so what if you click on the photo and see a bunch of seeds in there. I did my best with the time I had available.

Since then, Chuck let me know that weeds were growing out of the poop.

Weeds my ass! They are tomatoes or melons or squash...or something. Far from weeds! Chuck suggested I microwave my poop to prevent this from happening in the future. I told Chuck in a very kind, roundabout, way that maybe he should just piss up a rope relax.

Surprise, surprise, Chuck recently let me know he wanted some poop and worms for his latest endeavor, the strawberries he'd planted. That'll be my next achievement, worm delivery. I have a batch of pooh nearly ready to begin processing; I'll get the worms from that batch.

I'm sure Chuck will have something to complain about when he gets the worms. I'll keep you posted.

FYI the wine-bottling experience was kick-ass! I loved it! Chuck and Jen had a good layout happening from the onset with breads, cheeses and dips available for incoming guests to congregate and meet-and-greet over.

While Chuck prepped for the bottling, he and Jen coordinated a dinner before the actual event including grilled tri-tip and sides, some of which were "old family" Costco recipes of Chuck's, including scalloped potatoes and macaroni and cheese; others brought by guests that were really homemade included a Persian dish by Ali and a spinach-and-strawberry salad among others. 

The bottling event itself was enough to accomodate 15-20 or more people and there was just enough action happening to keep most everyone busy in some aspect. Best was that Chuck and Jen made it a point to allow everyone opportunity to work each "station" in the process. As Chuck does, he talked the entire time; this time I actually learned something relevant to what was going on rather than random information suitable for a segment of Jeopardy!.

With each change of wine to be bottled came a wine-tasting. I'd expound, but I don't drink wine. I showed up to be, specifically, a thorn in Chuck's side.

At evening end, participants were allowed to select a recently-bottled bottle of wine or two to take home. I left my bottle for someone who'd actually drink their efforts.

I highly recommend attending Chuck's wine-bottling if you are offered an invite. There is much to learn that I haven't disclosed, plus there is good company and food to enjoy. 

Screw it. If you hear Chuck might be hosting another event like this, just show up. Bring him a box of worm poop and tell him I sent ya. I'll be there to back you.

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